Give Me Redemption (Give Me Series Book 4) Read online

  “Really?” she asks as the bartender places her drink down and her receipt.

  “You can’t smoke in here,” he says.

  I dart my eyes to him. “I’m aware,” I say with a wink.

  She signs her receipt and the bartender shakes his head at me before walking away. She slides her card back into her wallet.

  “Hey, can I get another round of bourbon straight up?” I ask. The bartender looks like he doesn’t want to fix it, but I’ve already given this fucker a twenty-dollar tip. “So, what’s this new business?” she asks before taking a sip of her drink.

  “Construction,” I reply, wishing I could light this smoke. I remove it from my mouth and place it behind my ear.

  She smiles, lifting her brow. “You’re a hands-on type of guy?” She licks her lips.

  I nod as the bartender sets my drink in front of me. I down it before pulling out some more bills from my wallet

  “Come on,” I say to her as I toss them beside my drink.

  She narrows her eyes, looking skeptical.

  I tilt my head before I exhale and rest my hand on the bar as I lean into her. “Why pretend like we don’t want the same thing here? Have you ever done exactly what you wanted exactly when you wanted to? Who will know but us?”

  She smirks, her eyes lighting up with that mischief I love.

  That honest moment when someone truly says fuck it and goes for living instead of pretending like we all have to be perfect for people who aren’t.

  She grabs her drink, tosses it back, and stands up. “Where?” she asks quietly.

  I grab her hand, already knowing. She lets me lead and we walk a little way until I see a janitor’s closet. I test the handle, not having a clue if it’s unlocked. Shockingly it opens. We rush inside and I push the lock button. Nothing but a mop bucket, vacuum cleaner, and a shelf full of cleaning supplies surround us. Incandescent light shines from above, exposing imperfections.

  I look at her, her legs, that skirt, her face. She’s pretty, not over-the-top beautiful or anything, but she’s something that’ll ease this fucking ball of pain in my chest if only for a moment.

  I grab her, lift her leg, which causes her skirt to rise, and kiss her lips.

  She’s nervous and I wish she would have drunk one more of those fucking girly drinks.

  “It’s just us,” I tell her with a smile.

  By some miracle that does the trick. She kisses me back harder. Her hands go to my pants and she undoes them quickly. My dick is ready, and I’m prepared. I reach around and grab my wallet from my back pocket, slipping the condom out.

  “Bite down,” I say to her, placing it between her lips. She does and I yank the wrapper. She spits out the top and I put the thing on. She wraps her legs around me when I lift her thighs and move her panties to the side. I push inside of her, ready or not, and she gasps.

  “Fuck,” I say into her neck.

  “Go,” she urges. I drive into her repeatedly. We knock over the vacuum and a few bottles of God knows what until we both come in a heap of groans.

  My phone starts to ring and someone knocks on the door.

  “Shit,” she says, trying to straighten herself out. I laugh and toss the condom into the trash. I button and zip, answering my phone as I unlock the door. Not even bothering looking back at her, I walk out as I say, “Hello.” The janitor’s eyes grow wide and he says something, but I ignore it.

  “Where are you?” my brother Bryce asks.

  “Coming,” I reply. I hang up and head toward the exit.

  “Hey,” I hear behind me.

  I turn. I didn’t even catch her name throws her hands up, like what the fuck.

  I give her a wave and take the stairs down to the bottom floor.

  What?

  Did she think we were going to be best friends or something?

  It was just a fuck. Jesus.

  I head out of the sliding glass doors, seeing my brother standing by one of his classics. This one is new, though, and it’s nice.

  “New ride?” I ask.

  “Yeah, guy named Austin rebuilt it for me.”

  “Damn, man, this is sweet.” I look it over as Bryce walks around to his side. I mean, I’m expecting a fucking hug at least but nope.

  “Come on,” he says.

  And there’s my bossy ass brother. I open the car door and toss my bag in the back before I climb inside, making sure my smoke is still behind my ear.

  “You even a little happy to see me?” I ask him as he starts the car.

  “Of course,” he replies, looking at the mirror before pulling out. “Put your seat belt on.” I roll my eyes but grab the belt behind me.

  My brother has always had a thing for seat belts. I know it’s because of the car accident we were in as kids that killed our father.

  Our wonderful mom was high on heroin and decided she no longer wanted to be alive, so as we were barreling down the road in a thunderstorm, she reached over and yanked the steering wheel from our dad, causing the car to flip.

  If it hadn’t been for seat belts, he and I would probably be dead as well.

  Mom survived, by the way. It’s usually the high ones or piss-drunk ones that do.

  Bryce doesn’t speak, clearly upset with me. I’ve disappointed him and I’m sure the rest of my family, too.

  I run my fingers over my chin as we head away from the airport.

  “Where do you want to go?” he asks.

  “My place,” I reply.

  He nods and I drift off in my own thoughts as we head down the interstate. I think about my lonely apartment and the walls I’ll be staring at when he drops me off. I’m not good at being alone. The thought has my chest hurting and my pulse quickening. I could use a beer, and I’m sure my fridge is empty.

  A loud pop sounds, tripping me from my thoughts, and I duck instinctively, covering my head and feeling the severe shake in my bones.

  Bryce swerves the car and I hold on for dear life as I shut my eyes tightly.

  I see fragments of dirt and debris behind my closed lids, and I can feel the tiny pieces of gravel landing on my arms and neck.

  “Jace,” I hear as my ears ring. “Brother, it was just someone’s tire that blew out.”

  I blink my eyes open and look over at him, getting yanked from the past and into the now.

  I’m riding in a car with Bryce.

  I’m not in a war zone.

  There are no guns and no explosions.

  I straighten my back and swallow as I wipe the mist of sweat from my brow.

  “Are you okay?” he asks me.

  I nod and look out the window.

  I’m okay, I’m okay.

  I’m home now.

  I calm the panic, breathing out slowly. I feel Bryce looking over at me, but I continue staring at the cars that pass by. Grateful when we get off the interstate and away from tire blowouts and near-death experiences. God, I just want things to be back to normal. Whatever that means.

  Normal.

  What’s normal for some is complete chaos for others. I’m sure there wouldn’t be a whole lot of people who would consider my life as normal.

  Has fucked-up childhood. Check.

  Has issues with being alone. Check.

  Thinks his brother resents him for ruining his childhood. Check.

  Joined the Army to try to punish said big brother, only for it to end badly for myself. Check, check.

  Yeah, I live some kind of normal.

  We pull up to the apartment building and Bryce parks his car. I open the door, ready to get out of this thing.

  “Want me to come up?” he asks.

  I lift the seat up to grab my bag, “Sure,” I reply because I’m not ready for the quiet. I toss the green Army bag over my shoulder as the sun beams down on my forehead.

  “Okay,” he says. He shuts the car off and climbs out. We both head inside the lobby and walk toward the elevators. With the adrenaline running through me from the tire blowout, I should take the stairs
. My brother uses a punching bag to blow off steam, but I like to run.

  I hit the button on the elevator, and it slides open. Bryce signals for me to go in first, so I do. I haven’t seen the man in a while. He’s older and not just in age. He still looks good, though. Toned and lean, buzzed head, and nicely dressed as always.

  I look a lot like him, just a little bulkier. I stand in Army pants and a green T-shirt, while he stands in dark jeans and a white tee. I’m not sure when our relationship took a turn for the worst. Maybe it was when he decided to buy the club Red and leave Grant Ranch where we grew up.

  That stung. I took it hard. Our life hasn’t been an easy one, and the weight of the past is too heavy to sweep under the rug.

  We have problems, but that’s nothing new.

  The doors open, revealing the small hallway with shitty art on the wall. I haven’t been to Bryce’s place in a while, but I know his looks like money and mine looks like lower class. I could afford something better. I have a good bit of savings, but I’m not into all the shiny things.

  “How’s everything going at Red?” I ask.

  “Good,” he replies, lifting his brow. He scratches the back of his neck as we near my door. I drop my bag and unzip the small pocket on the side to grab my key. “The place has really grown since you’ve been gone,” he adds.

  “Really?” I ask. “Good.” I open the door and lift my bag before stepping inside. My place is clean, which doesn’t say a whole lot. I’m not here often.

  “Aunt Lou was going to go grocery shopping for you, but she didn’t have a key,” Bryce says.

  I nod. “That’s cool. I like to do that anyway.”

  He gives me a surprised look.

  I shrug. “I cooked a lot in the Army.”

  He nods, looking proud. “You’re better than me. Lou always gets my shit and cooks it, too.”

  I laugh, glad that we’re breaking some ice here. “Well, you’ve always been a burner.”

  He fakes being offended. “I used to cook you grilled cheeses all the time.”

  “Yeah, with slightly burnt bread.”

  He chuckles. “It was pretty bad, but once you got past that part, the cheese was good.”

  This time I laugh as I place my bag onto the floor. I walk to the fridge to see how empty it really is. Half a six pack sits inside, along with mayo, mustard, and ketchup. Well, at least I have the important things.

  I grab two beers and offer him one. He takes it and twists the top, tossing the cap into the trash.

  We stand in the kitchen, both leaning against the counter. Bryce looks down at the floor, and I can tell his mind is spinning with questions he wants to ask me.

  I take a sip of my beer, bracing myself.

  “You gonna tell me what happened, man?” he asks, his eyes jumping back to me.

  I shake my head, thinking back on how everything worked out.

  “Shit, there’s not a lot to tell. I made some dumb choices and I got sloppy. Now I’m here.”

  “You know that’s not all there is,” he says.

  I swallow, looking across the room at the plain clock hanging on the wall. The hands don’t move. It needs batteries.

  I push away from the counter and walk over to the drawer, looking for AA batteries.

  “The fuck you doing?” Bryce asks.

  “Clock’s dead,” I say.

  “What?” he asks like I’ve gone crazy. “Dude, stop. Talk to me.” He grabs my arm. I look back at him.

  “Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m home now and it’s over.” I bring my drink to my lips.

  “So that’s it then? You’re just not going to tell me.”

  “Not today,” I say. “And probably not tomorrow either.”

  He scoffs and looks down. “Well, I’m here when you’re ready.”

  I nod. “’Preciate it.” I pull the smoke from behind my ear and the lighter from my pocket. I’m really not sure when I’ll want to talk about the things that happened over there. It’s hard enough to think about, much less say out loud.

  “What now?” he asks.

  I shrug as I inhale. “Who knows.”

  “There’s always Grant Ranch,” he tosses out, obviously trying to make light of the situation, but there’s no way to do that. I should be sitting in jail right now, but I’m not because my commander looked out for me. He’s still trying to work on my case. I’d love for that dishonorable discharge shit to go away.

  But I laugh anyway. “Yeah, there’s always that.”

  He drinks from his beer, looking around at my apartment. “Wanna get out of here tonight? We could hit up Red. It’s been a while.”

  “Sounds good to me,” I say.

  He finishes his beer. “All right. I’ll let you get settled. I’ll call you later.” I nod as he heads for the door. He turns to me after he opens it. “Good to have you back.”

  “Good to be back,” I reply, but I don’t feel it. I’d love nothing more than to be back with my team, but that’s impossible.

  I sigh and toss my empty beer bottle into the trash. Guess I better settle in.

  Chapter Five

  Jace

  Being back in civilian life is odd. I’m used to flying bullets and the desert sun beaming down on my neck and back. While I don’t like being alone, I don’t like being around all these people either. They look at me strange, like they know I’ve killed people. Or that I’m fucked up a little. Every loud pop sends my adrenaline into overdrive and I’m looking for my SAW to shoot back.

  I climb out of my truck and head into the grocery store filled with a little anxiety and not enough alcohol. It’s late in the evening now. I unpacked my shit and took a shower. The doors slide open and I grab a shopping cart before entering into the main store.

  I head to the produce section, knowing I need to stock up on some fresh vegetables when a woman catches my attention.

  Her hair is up, with little pieces falling around her neck. She’s in yoga pants and running shoes, a gleam of sweat covering her face when she turns around.

  Wow.

  I blanch, feeling my feet stop. Other people move around us, but I can’t seem to do the same.

  And then she sees me.

  And then she smiles.

  She’s makeup-free, lightly pink cheeks, and a pretty set of green eyes.

  I don’t return her kindness. In fact, I frown, because she’s caught me off guard and I just wanted some fucking groceries.

  I remember myself and carry on with my shopping. I need milk and eggs and bacon and cheese. I grab meat from the freezer and a couple twelve packs of beer before I hightail it out of there.

  I catch her checking out, just as I exit, and I can’t help but wonder if she comes here a lot.

  I toss my bags into the truck and climb in, thinking I need something to wear if I’m going to Red, so I decide to go by and grab some new clothes. All my shit is Army and nothing else really. Once I’m done, I get a text from Bryce, telling me he’s ten minutes away.

  I hurry in the house and put my groceries up before changing clothes. A knock sounds on the door as I’m sliding my blazer on. “Come in,” I say as I walk out of my bedroom, adjusting the bottom of my sleeves. I look when the door opens, and my brother walks in with two chicks beside him.

  “Damn,” I say, impressed. “You didn’t tell me we were going to have dates.”

  The girls look me over, both of them giggling. This is going to be easy as taking candy from a blind man.

  “Ladies,” I greet.

  Bryce narrows his eyes as I hold out my elbows for them to grab on. “Let’s go have some fun.”

  He shakes his head and we all four exit my apartment. I sit in the back with one of the girls. She’s got her legs crossed and wears a dress that almost reveals too much. Her hair is bottle blonde and her lips probably taste sweet with all that gloss on. She’s just my type. Trashy.

  “I heard you just got out of the Army,” she says to me.

  My heart dr
ops a little and I grow annoyed. I don’t want to talk about the fucking Army.

  I nod, but don’t say anything. Thankfully, the club comes into view and I’m stunned. The line is down the street. We bypass the front and head to the alleyway. “Where are you going?” I ask Bryce.

  “We can go in through the back. It’s just easier,” he replies, parking the car near the staircase. We all exit and head up. Bryce opens the door and we walk inside.

  “Damn, you’ve done nothing with the place,” I say to him. It looks just like it did when I was seventeen.

  “Go get us a drink and leave my shit alone,” he replies.

  I laugh. “Still so fucking serious.” I walk over to the small bar he has and grab a bottle of tequila. Reaching around the back, I grab four shot glasses.

  I fill each to the rim and hold mine up. “Here’s to getting trashed and forgetting our problems, yeah?” I say to the girls.

  They laugh and toast me. My brother shakes his head before tossing back his drink. We head out of the loft and into the small bar area above Red.

  There’s a two-way mirror where we can look out at the club. People are dancing below us, and that’s where I want to be. I grab a bottle from the bar and take a swig. “Let’s go down,” I say.

  “Go on ahead,” Bryce says. “I’ll be here.”

  “What? Nah, man, come with us,” I say to him as I put my arm over one of the girl’s shoulders.

  “I’m good. Go have fun,” he insists.

  “All right,” I reply with a shrug. “Come on, ladies. You heard the man. Let’s go.”

  One of the girls takes the bottle from my hand as we exit the door. She takes a gulp and then passes it to the other chick. I feel like I need to learn these girls’ names at some point, but it’s loud in here.

  I’ll call the one with the black dress Lips ’cause that’s the first thing you notice on her face and the other Blondie ’cause, well, she’s blonde.

  We near the bottom and a big guy turns around to look at us.

  “Ben?” I ask. “Damn, dude, you’re still working here?”

  He nods. “Good to have you back, Jace.”

  I pat his shoulder. “Yeah, man.” I don’t say it’s good to be back this time because lying gets old. I wish I were with my boys, and I don’t know why I wish that… I mean, who wants to be near gunfire and the threat of death constantly? But it’s the one place I felt right.